How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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