Say something about gay babies.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
