I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
