Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
