My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
