it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
