The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
