It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
