Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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