I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
where are you?
Hypothermia
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize