You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
