kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
