I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
