Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
