How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize