Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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