in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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