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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize