When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize