Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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