**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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