i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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