I'm going to rape someone's good day.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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