I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
