Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize