We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize