whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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