What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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