So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
