is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
