He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
me + whiskey = a bad person
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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