How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
