dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
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