Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
