rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize