she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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