Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
