My brain says no but my pants say off.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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