rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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