i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
