Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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