Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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