This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
