I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
