are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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