Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
the condom got lost in my hair
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
