dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
