thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
