I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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