Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
