I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
