...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
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