I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
