we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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