The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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