im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Randomize
