does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
