I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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