He uses pillows to masturbate.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize