No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
