I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize