I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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