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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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