smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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