ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
